October 8, 2015

TALKTIME #8: I'm Falling out of the Booksphere and That is Okay


      So unlike most of the other talktimes I've done, all seven of them, gosh I'm so bad at this, this one isn't going to be as much discussion based. This one is going to be mostly entirely all about me, my life, and the booksphere. If you don't want to read about me talking about my life, that's cool. You can leave right now. I won't be offended. I won't even know because this is the Internet. 
      Where to begin... I guess I'll just start with the obvious. I have fallen almost entirely off the face of the booksphere. Now when I say booksphere, I mean out of the book blogging community and booktube. I remember before I moved to college I promised to write a blog and film a video once a week. I have come to realize there is no way in hell that is going to happen. To be honest, I'm lucky if I can muster up the motivation for once a month, and that is terrible. I used to love this booksphere. Everyday I would go through my feed and look at everyone's reviews, comment, and be hella involved. Now... well now I'm just not feeling it. I have to force myself to read people's blog posts. Don't get me started on booktube. My subscriber feed will have 70 videos and then one day I'll decide to binge watch a bunch. If it is over 5 minutes I am or a review, I'm not watching it. It's that I have fallen out of love with the whole book community, I just don't have the time or the mentality to do it. 
      College is time consuming and stressful. I am biomedical engineering pre-med major, the hardest major at my college, probably the hardest major period. With so much science and math, my brain is on technical overdrive. My computer programming class also takes a huge chunk out of my schedule. Most of the reading I do is spent towards my religions class where I have to read 120 pages in less than a day... 
      Don't get me wrong. I still love reading. Reading is bae. When I do have time to do my own reading, I have a ball. It's the entire blogging/recording aspect that has me down in the dumps. For instance, I read "The Rosie Project" for my college book club and finished it like on Sunday (today is Thursday). I have yet to write a review. And I kinda don't want to write a review. I'm kinda falling out of love with reviews. I don't want to review cause it's time consuming, and I don't feel like reading other people's reviews because I honestly don't care what they have to say cause I know I will not be able to read whatever they are reading anytime soon. 
      In general my entire emotional spectrum is down in the dumps. I'm incredibly stressed and college is not nearly as fun as I thought it would be. Everyone always says how you make lifetime friends in college, but I've barely even made what I would call friends. I have a "friend" group, but they always forget about me, like all the time. They always forget to text me to join them for dinner, when we do hang out, they always talk about when they hung out and forgot to invite me, and the list goes on and on. Not having a solid friend group kinda depresses me. 
      On the bright side, I did meet a fellow book blogger at the book club meeting. It's nice to have someone to talk and text to about books. Her name is Saloni and here is a link to her blog. http://myfantabulousbookshelf.blogspot.com/
      I guess what I'm trying to say is, right now my mental state is in shambles and my feelings towards the booksphere is affected because of this. I have no doubt that I will get better. Come Fall Break, Thanksgiving Break, and especially Winter Break, I should be better, but I don't know if I'll ever be at the same caliber of excitement I had before. 

So how are you guys? For those of you in school, can you relate to what I am feeling? Have you ever thought about just quitting? What do you do to get yourself out of an emotional stink? 

Join the conversation!

  1. Awww I feel for you! There were many times last year when it felt like quitting because of time commitments, and I do not have a doubt that there will be some this year. I can also relate to the not solid friend group thing. I just don't have anyone who I can call my "best" friend. Breaks are always important, and I'm sure that this break will make you happier. Hope you feel better, Sierra!

    1. Glad I'm not alone. I hope you eventually find someone you can call your best friend. I have some from home, but they are literally a state away and I never talk to them. Thank you so much!

  2. Sounds like you're growing up. Growing up sucks. Its basically a bunch of responsibility and expectations with a butt load of exhaustion. It happens. Your priorities are beginning to change and that's OK. That's the point. You have to figure out what's important, what's worth your time and attention, and what you want for your future.
    I'm sure your love of reading will always be there but for now its best to let it take a back burner.
    Keep working for your future and remember you can always write me :)


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