TALKTIME #13: MY NEED FOR ASEXUAL CHARACTERS
*Warning: I am angry, so the following is properly not going to to be coherent and there will be swearing, so if that is not okay with you, the exit is at the top of the page. For those of you who are okay with this, thank you for staying and listening to me. I appreciate it.*
Storytime. So yesterday I was minding my own business, eating Denny's in my room and watching tv because I am all for procrastinating school work. I had just gotten my new laptop, so I was in a pretty good mood. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere, bam, I get a notification from Facebook Messenger. I look at it and it is from this guy. We're going to call him Dumbo for this story's sake. Anyway, Dumbo says he's bored and wants to talk. I say okay because Dumbo seems like a nice guy who I've had classes with. Well we get to talking and he seems pretty nice. He's flirting with me and I feel all happy inside. A guy has only once ever flirted with me, and nothing to this caliber. I have never had a boyfriend so this is all new to me.
Anyway, things were pretty good. And then out of fucking nowhere. He asks me if I want to come over to his room and have sex with him.
For those of you who don't know, I am asexual. I do not feel physical attraction and I don't ever want to have sex. I am sure of it and it is a decision I stand by. Well I told this guy and he would not hear it. Dumbo didn't believe people could be asexual, and that because I'm a virgin I can't know that I'm asexual and that he doesn't believe I can't feel physical attraction. He kept asking me to have sex with him and I kept telling him no and to do his fucking research on what it means to be asexual. Dumbo had the fucking nerve to tell me and I quote "be a good little girl and have sex with me. I'll show how how to suck this dick and how to feel good". I WAS FUCKING ANGRY. I HAD HAD IT! I WAS DONE. FUCK THIS BASTARD FOR SAYING THAT WHAT I FEEL IS NOT REAL.
Anyway, let me get to the point of this story. This guy at the really smart college I go to didn't know and understand asexuality, and that is not okay. Clearly there is not enough representation out there in the world. And I'm not talking just about books. There needs to be asexual characters in tv shows and movies and other mainstream things people watch. I am so tired of people not knowing what asexualilty is and not thinking it is a legitimate orientation. Do you know how many asexual characters I have read about in books? A BIG FAT ZERO! Do you know how many asexual characters I have seen on tv/movies? Maybe three.
Not only do we need more asexual characters for the sake of educating the general public, but to help asexuals like me. Coming to terms with my asexuality was such a hard thing for me to go through. I didn't understand why I didn't feel like everyone else, and people weren't very accepting. They kept telling me it was just a phase and eventually I would find a boy that I like that. Hearing that stuff did not help the inner turmoil in me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I just want more asexual characters. People are always talking about how there needs to be diversity. People are always talking about how there needs to be more people of color, LGBT, etc. and I completely agree. I want there to be more of those characters a lot too. But I really really really want there to be more asexuals. It almost feels like we don't exist. With the other groups, at least it is common knowledge they exist. With asexuals, we're basically like dragons.
Thank you all so much for sticking this far. What are your thoughts on the topic. I'd love to hear what you all have to say.
Book: The Outsiders
Author: Tamy Ferebee
Page Count: 340
Synopsis: Something greater than human…
Jaylen Hayes knows that she is different from all other seventeen-year-old girls. Possessing extraordinary intelligence, she is also uncannily powerful and inexplicably hated by wild animals. But it is not until she transfers to Trinity High that she learns the truth about who—and what—she really is.
Instinctively drawn to two new classmates—the intense and passionate Indigo, and the charismatic and breathtakingly gorgeous Michael—Jaylen soon learns the shocking secret of their shared heritage, and the bloodline that extends to the stars. However, all is not what it seems, and Jaylen soon finds her newfound security threatened when a trusted friend becomes a dangerous and vengeful enemy.
My friend Temecka who blogs at Library of Tomes received a review copy of this and after talking to her about this book, I decided that it might be up my ally and I wanted to give it a shot. So, I contacted the author and got a review copy. Now to the review...
I had quite a few issues with this book, the main one being that it was really a just childish and full of teenage drama. For those of you that are keeping tabs on me, you know that I am trying to veer away from Young Adult literature because at this point in my life it just kind of pisses me off and I want to read something more mature. That being said, this book is kind of one of the reasons why I'm doing it. There was just so much unecessary drama, and I realize they are teeangers and teenagers are supposedly really extra, but I just can't take it anymore.
Plot wise, most of it felt like it wasn't headed anywhere. This book is like a combination between sci-fi and contemporary and that doesn't really work. The sci-fi elements honestly did not make any sense and just made the plot all the more unbelievable. I think if the sci-fi elements were gone, the plot would be much improved. That being said, I wasn't a fan of the plot for most of the book, but it definitely improved towards the end and caught my attention more. I can tell the series is headed in a direction with more action and a plot.
Now on to the characters... I didn't really like any of the main characters. I thought they were rash and infuriating teens, which as I have stated above, I am trying to avoid. They were so diverse though and I highly appreciate that. The main character was a female person of color who was an athesit, and I can identify with that, and I have never been able to identify with that before. Other characters were diverse too, being people of color or members of the LGBT community, and I think that it is amazing that the author included such a diverse array of characters. And the way she described them and portrayed them was really realistic and it is hard to get that.
As for the writing, it wasn't too special, but it was very realistic of how teenagers think and act and I appreciated that, even though, you know, teens annoy the hell out of me.
Overall I feel like I could like this series. The author has some things she can improve on and I can probably get over the whole teenager thing. I'm hoping she develops the sci-fi aspect of the book so that it makes more sense and doesn't make me want to roll my eyes.
Book: The Crow Box
Author: Nikki Rae
Release Date: January 14, 2016
Release Date: January 14, 2016
Synopsis: The small wooden box is dirty, the size of a human fist, and sealed with wax. When Corbin takes it upon herself to clean it and break the seal, a voice she has tried to ignore gathers strength. Shadows play on the walls at night, and with a family history of mental illness, Corbin fears the worst. But the voice tells her it is real. That its name is Six and it will prove it in time.
Some doors should not be opened; can this one be closed?
Excerpt
A tap on the window. Something that was too much like a tree branch to really draw any attention. Then it got louder. I shoved the pillow over my head, sinking its weight into the cool fabric and throwing the covers over my head for extra good measure. I almost forgot where I was until I felt the rough fabric of the blanket that wasn’t mine. I tried to open my eyes, but I didn’t care enough to exert the amount of energy it took. Instead, I rolled over, sinking deeper into the darkness surrounding me.
I knew somehow that I had slept through all the daily activities, through group therapy and arts and crafts and TV hour. I knew it was past lights out and I found myself not caring that it would all be monitored. I could stay in this room, in this bed forever. Somewhere between sleeping and waking, between my body and muddy, thick mind, I heard the voice. I couldn't understand what it said, but it was a gentle, almost cooing sound, like one a mother would use on a child who had woken in the middle of the night from a bad dream. But they were down the hall and too far away to offer me anything.
The blanket shifted and I couldn't see because my eyes were closed; the blankets and pillow still covered my head. A moment of quiet, then the mattress dipped in next to me, in front of me. My heart pounded in my head, my throat. A second later, the pillow slid from my head, but I couldn't tell if it was my own doing. My head was too heavy; my thoughts were too clogged to get one solitary explanation through.
Hush now, the voice whispered. It was right next to my ear, right next to me. I'll show you.
Yes. Show me. Show me how to be insane. Show me how to be just like my mother. I kept my eyes completely closed.
Corbin, said the voice. As much as I hated to admit it, I liked the sound of my name in its tone. I liked how it hit me deep. It was the sound of sand being blown by the sea on a windy day. It was the feeling of fingers in your hair as you fell asleep, tangled limbs after a closely spent night. Softness and hardness of an intimate touch, one that couldn’t have possibly been delivered by anyone or anything else.
“Yes?” I hadn't realized I said the word out loud until my hot breath was bouncing back at me against the covers. I was afraid my roommate would hear, but her heavy snoring reassured me.
So you are with me, it whispered. Each word caressed my face, sent warm shivers through my skin and into the bone.
I opened my mouth to say something else, but I couldn't think of anything; I doubted I would even be able to get the words past my teeth.
Hushhhhhh, said the voice. I felt something slightly cold, yet not completely solid against my waist. It wasn't enough to make me shiver. It wasn't anything that woke me further from the drugs. My shirt slipped upward, past my belly button before it stopped.
I inhaled sharply and turned over onto my back, convinced that I was half-dreaming and if I switched positions, the dream would change just as easily.
A few moments of silence. A few moments of the tapping on the glass, the rustle of the wind outside as the rain pelted the roof. It lulled me back into comfort, back into darkness.
My little crow, crooned the voice. Again, right in my ear, right in front of my face. It made the blackness behind my eyelids shake, sprout leaves and take root. My precious petal.
I was almost unaware of the sheet moving off of me, the blankets shifting until I heard them rumple into a careless pile on the floor. My face became warm, the smell of damp dirt in my nostrils, the sound of static electricity zipping through my brain, setting off synapses to synapses.
“What are you doing?” I whispered. But my voice sounded so far away, like I was standing on top of a very high tower and trying to make my words heard to people down below.
I felt my hair being moved from my forehead, then a small, sweet amount of pressure applied there. Kissing you, my love.
I liked the gesture. It overrode any logic, any sense of self I could bring forth from the darkness.
“Why do you only kiss me at night?” I whispered.
Another small peck, warm and then cool against my cheek. I am strongest at this hour. The words slithered around my skin, crawled to the back of my skull like some creature that had suddenly sprouted legs. And you are most open to me.
“Open?” I asked, my head swimming with medication, my eyes glued shut, my body heavy with sleep that had yet to come.
I felt the slight breath of an amused, silent laugh. Yessssss, the voice whispered. Open, my crow.
I opened my eyes, but I was only met with darkness. I knew that it was all in my head as the dim room spun around me, but I didn't care. I didn't want to think about it or what it meant. It was easier to pretend. If I was the only one who knew, I was the only one who knew the truth. I couldn't be losing my mind if I was so in control of it.
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About the Author
Nikki Rae is an independent author who lives in New Jersey. She explores human nature through fiction, concentrating on making the imaginary as real as possible. Her genres of choice are mainly dark, scary, romantic tales, but she’ll try anything once. When she is not writing, reading, or thinking, you can find her spending time with animals, drawing in a quiet corner, or studying people. Closely.
TALKTIME #11: Let's Talk About Instalove
Now I'm sure there are plenty of posts out there in the world talking about instalove, but I thought I'd just add my two cents to the conversation anyway. Why? Well instalove really bothers me. Now when I say it really bothers me, I mean if I can see instalove coming in the story, sometimes I get angry, like fuming, ready to curse out the world, angry.
You might be wondering why it makes me angry. You're probably like 'It's just instalove Sierra. Take a chill pill.' Okay, but I don't think you understand where I'm coming from. Let me explain. In the beginning, I was all for the instalove. Reading about instalove made me all happy and giddy inside. It made me think 'Wow, there is so much instalove out there, it must be real. Gosh, I have hope. Someday, I'm going to experience what these characters have.'
Aahahahaha. Nope. Real life is not like the books. And that kind of upsets me. Now I understand that authors are trying to make books a world outside of reality, better than reality actually, but it has reached a new point of ridiculousness. There is just too much instalove and it is just too damn unrealistic, and I realize that now. I used to love the fact that instalove is something that doesn't really happen, but now it is just annoying. I don't want to read about two characters immediately falling in love anymore because that just makes me want to roll my eyes and scream. I want something more realistic, something that I could see happening in real life that would make me crack a grin and do a slow clap. I want to root on the characters as they fall in love and deal with the situation as real people would.
I feel like I'm just rambling, but I don't feel like stopping myself. Instalove doesn't make me love the characters that much, if that makes sense... What I mean is, I love watching the characters fall over each other. I love when they start noticing the little things about the other person. When they are borderline stalkers and obsess over the person they are crushing on, I can relate to that. Those are the book relationships I love. Screw instalove. I want real world love.
Now granted, my version of real world love probably isn't exactly realistic either. But it's sure as hell a lot more than instalove. So I guess if I wanted to say eveything in a nutshell, here it is: Instalove is everywhere and annoys the hell out of me. Instalove is unrealistic as hell. Instalove doesn't quite have that built up or tension that I love to read about.
So what do you guys think? Are you all for the instalove? Or is it starting to annoy the hell out of you like it is me? I want to hear what you guys think.
Also if anyone here is a Vampire Diaries fan and ships Bonnie and Kai, please please please talk to me. I need someone to talk to about my deep love for this couple that should have been but never was.
Book: Death in A Major
Author: Sarah Fox
Format: ARC
Publisher: Witness Impulse
My Rating: ★★★
Synopsis: The new season for the Point Grey Philharmonic starts off on a sour note when one of the symphony’s wealthy benefactors drops dead in the second Music Lover’s Mystery from author Sarah Fox.
When Archibald Major, local big wig and nasty tyrant, drops dead at a post-concert reception, violinist Midori Bishop soon suspects foul play. Although Midori has no intention of getting involved in another murder investigation, that all changes when Jordan - her violin student and the victim’s grandson - seeks her help convincing the police that the real killer is his uncle, a low-level criminal.
As Midori digs into the victim’s life, she discovers that he was a man who created discord at every turn, even within his own family, and there is no shortage of potential suspects. When someone close to Midori unexpectedly confesses to the crime, Midori must race to discover the identity of the true killer before an innocent person goes to jail for a crime they didn’t commit… and before Midori herself becomes a victim in the killer’s deadly encore.
Review
I was sent an unsolicited ARC for review from Harper Collin's Witness Impulse imprint, which I'd like to thank them in advance for the ARC and the opportunity to review this book. Coming into this book, I knew nothing about it, expect that it was a murder mystery. I didn't even realize it was a part of the series until I went on the Goodreads page for the book, although honestly you don't need to read the first book to follow along the second book.
Honestly, this book was just okay. There were really no defining factors that made it stand out. The writing and plot were very typical of murder mysteries. The beginning was rather slow and I wasn't sure when we would get to the main investigating part of the plot. Even then, the investigating wasn't nearly as detailed or detective-like as I thought it would be. Honestly any person with a brain could put the details together like the main character. Most of the time there were several mini-plots happening at once and I felt like that took away from the main plot, like the whole side romance/friend thing that I did not care for. There were a few twists with regards to the killer that I didn't see coming and that is really what was a reading factor for me that made this a 3 star book instead of a 2 star book. As for the characters they also didn't stand out. There was nothing special about them, and even the main character didn't have any qualities or characteristics that made me want to get attached to her. Overall, this was just a quick read.
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Book: Carry On
Author: Rainbow Rowell
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
My Rating: ★★★1/2
Synopsis: Simon Snow is the worst chosen one who’s ever been chosen.
That’s what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right.
Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.
Everyone and their mother has been raving about "Carry On" before it was even released. For the first time in awhile, I bought into the hype and got the book release day. However, I've been so busy with college that I haven't been able to pick it up until recently. If I'm being perfectly honest, I fricken hated the Simon Snow fanfiction in Fangirl. I thought it took away from the story and so after like the first couple of shorts, I skipped the rest. Nevertheless, I was still hella interested to read "Carry On".
Honestly, I did not think "Carry On" was the hot shit. So many people listed it as one of their favorites last year and I'm just sitting here like how?????
The first like 250 pages were so damn rough that I honestly thought about DNFing the book. It was boring, there was no real plot, and honestly the world and characters did not speak to me. "Carry On" is obviously a spoof of "Harry Potter", and that didn't really bother me most of the times, but there were moments where it ruffled my feathers. For instance, those spells. I'm sorry those were so damn lame and made me roll my eyes. And the whole Hundrum thing was confusing as hell and I still don't fully understand and I also feel like that whole thing was a load of bull.
Penny and Agatha.... Hmmm... For the most part, I liked Penny. Penny to me was like a combination of Hermione and Ron, and I enjoyed that. Her personality appealed to me, though there were times where I just wanted to slap her. Agatha... god damn I hate that bitch. I'm sorry, she did not have a single redeeming quality.
Simon Snow... he was tolerable. I don't know, he just felt kind of moody and a bit bat shit crazy to me. And dear god his obsession with Baz was unbearable. I swear his every thought was about Baz this, Baz that; it was annoying as hell. I still don't completely understand why his every thought was about Baz. And after all the hate he seemed to have towards Baz, he comes out of nowhere and kisses him and loves him. I know people say hate and love are on a thin line, but I think it is bullshit that within one paragraph he went from hating Baz to loving him with every fiber of his being. Don't get me wrong; I ship them and I was head over heels when they kissed because I'm a sucker for those kind of scenes, it just didn't seem realistic.
Finally Baz, the redeeming quality of this book and my favorite aspect. He is the only reason why I continued to read the book. I love his thought process and just the way he holds himself. I loved the fact that he was truly in love with Simon from the beginning because that is something that I didn't expect.
Overall, I have mixed feelings. A lot of the story just bored me or I thought was a load of crap. But there were moments that I thought were really cute and gave me butterflies, those were my favorite moments. Basically I wish the book had less of the confusing fantasy and unnecessary plot and more of the cute, contemporary parts.
TALKTIME #10: My Bone to Pick with Young Adult Literature
When I first started this blog, I wasn't sure what I should read and review. So, as inspiration, I read a lot of other blogs and watched a bunch of Booktube videos. And do you know what almost all of those blogs/channels were centered around: young adult literature. Now before then, I'm not saying I didn't read young adult, I just didn't read a lot of it. But, I decided, hey, maybe I should start reading more young adult since everyone and there mother is reading it.
Time when it on and young adult started to consume my reading. It got to the point where I'm pretty sure all I was reading was young adult fiction. For awhile, this was okay; I was enjoying what I was reading and I didn't have a problem with the overwhelming abundance of young adult I was reading. But then, I started noticing something.
My opinion towards books started to decrease. It felt like I was reading the same few things over and over again. I continued to read young adult, but my expectations for books began decreasing because I figured it was going to be like almost every other book I have read.
Now I am not saying young adult fiction is bad. However, slowly over time, I feel like a lot of the novels are starting to blend together and follow the same plots, troupes, characters. Nothing feels special anymore.
That is my bone to pick with young adult literature: nothing feels unique or special anymore. Don't get me wrong: there have been a handful of young adult books that I have really enjoyed, but not enough.
So I have reached a conclusion: I am going to start venturing off more and more from YA. I want to explore more genres like I used to before starting this blog. Nowadays, I'm not as concerned about what people are reading and what they think about my blog like I used to be. I'm still going to read YA, probably a decent amount, but I want to find more special books that I truly love and YA just really isn't doing that anymore.
What are your thoughts? Do you feel like a lot of young adult is the same? What other genres do you like to read outside of YA? Please please please comment below so we can have a nice discussion. :)
So today I logged on to Blogger to find out I surpassed 10,000 pageviews! I'd just like to take the time to thank all of you who take time out of your day to look at my blog. It really means the world to me and none of this would be possible without all of you!
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