September 16, 2018

I'm Still Alive (But I'm Barely Breathing)

      So as the title says, I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing. I haven't posted anything on here since June, which now that I think about it, that might a record for the longest time I haven't posted anything on here. I'm going to be honest, I high-key even forgot I had a blog. I've been wrapped up in enjoying my summer, the hell that is research, and focusing on my last semester of undergrad, that I haven't really had time to read or blog. But the thing is, I'm not sorry.

      For the first time in years, I've truly enjoyed myself out in the real world. I have friends that I've been lucky enough to spend time with and actually open up to. I've had experiences that I only dreamed of happening. I've made life choices that have scared the hell out of me, but I'm so glad I made them because if I didn't, I don't know if I would still be here, or at least my sanity would be long gone. 

      As I mentioned in the first paragraph, it's my last semester of college, and I want to go out doing everything I need and want to do. I want to excel in my classes and research, and I'm in charge of several clubs, so all of that takes up quite a bit of my time. Reading for fun isn't in the picture right now, but that's okay, for now. I'm growing and changing, something I mistakenly thought I was done doing when I graduated high school (silly me). 

      In a few months, I will be done with college, and after lots of thinking and stressing, I've decided to take a break from academia before I go to grad school, and get a job out in the real world. I've also decided to move with my best friend since childhood to one of the cities of our dreams and test the limitations of our friendship, just like we always planned. 

     All of this is to say, right now my life is pretty good, and I'm not quite ready to come back to blogging. Blogging was my crutch, my safety from the world. But at the moment, I don't need it. When I'm no longer in college, I'm sure I'll be back because transitions are not the best time for me. And that's not to say that I won't post on here at all within the next 3 months, it's just the likelihood is very small and the posts if there are any, will be pretty infrequent.

      To those of you that have stuck with me this long, I thank you, and can only hope you'll stick around when I transition to the next stage of my life.

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